When Things Fall Apart

When things go wrong most people wonder why. They ask themselves: What’s it all for? You lose your job, someone close to you dies. A relationship ends, you lose your home, your health seems to be failing, you may lose money…The question to ponder over is: Where’s it all leading to?   “When things fall apart” is taken from a conversation I was having with a friend yesterday at the gym. He asked me a question: He said, “Is anything really solidified?” His question was in reference to being layed off from his job and life in general. I responded by saying, “Actually nothing is. That’s the beauty of life. The uncertainty is what keeps it interesting. What did I mean? In uncertainty we grow. In comfort we stagnate. The only thing that’s concrete,  and always guaranteed in life is “change.”

It’s the one thing that you can bet on. I also said there’s a force or forces that govern the universe that operates above and beyond us. We can do all that we can to plan our lives, we can do all we can to fix things or control things, but our power is limited. He said: “Yes but we do have freedom of choice.” I said, “Yes free will helps, but these forces that compel us to grow are the best of planners. We may have something in mind for ourselves and believe we know the way. We may believe we know what’s best for us, but the forces that govern creation has something better in mind. It doesn’t mean that we will live in a rose garden  which is what most of us desire to live in, but it means that each and everyone of us are given what we need to grow.

When things fall apart  it means that things are really just falling into place. Things are shifting to where they should be. The forces of change are stepping in to assist you. When this happens it doesn’t always look pretty. Something has to be agitated, upset, the balance has to be disrupted in order for change to come. Our comfort zones have to be shaken up. It all part of it. Sometimes the scales of life have to go unbalanced in order for things to be balanced. In order for this to happen something has to first die before something new to come into fruition.

Imagine a world where nothing changed and everything stayed the same? We would be bored to death because there would be nothing to challenge us. “All things are in divine order,” is a statement I love to quote. It’s another way of saying that everything is just what it should be. When you think about it, “when things fall apart” carries a negative connotative energy because it assumes that something is coming apart.


I remember reading this statement in Robert Kiyosaki’s book, “Rich Dad Poor Dad.”  “Those Who Seek to Keep Their Security, Lose  Their Freedom, and Those Who Seek to Keep Their Freedom Lose Their Security.” I thought to myself: “What a profound statement.” I pondered over this for many years after reading that book. The impact of those words touched me so deeply, that i included it as a topic at a workshop i was giving for women at a local community center. What does it mean? Why did i decide to write this post today on this subject? Why did it touch me so deeply that i included it in a workshop? Let’s take a look at this:

Today as i was driving my children to school, i was pulled over by an officer who had already had someone waiting in line for him. He said that i had run past a yellow school bus with the flashing lights on my left side…The crazy thing about it was, that i didn’t even see the bus. I had always considered myself to be a cautious and a defensive driver. Only one time many years ago i was accused of passing a school bus and knew for sure that when i passed the bus, the lights had already went out. But there was an officer who patrolled the area where i worked, and claimed that i passed the bus when the lights were up. I went to court and told the judge that i knew for sure that i didn’t pass when the bus had the flashing lights on. He seemed to have an attraction for me and sensed my sincerity and decided to dismiss it, with a fine for $385. I was pissed! Why am i telling you this story? Because the first incident appeared to cause me to lose my security and possibly  my license. It seemed like i would be all messed up. But something in my spirit wouldn’t allow that cop to ruin my day. I told myself that i was going to have a good day regardless. I decided that my security could never be wrestled, as long as my inner resolve was in tact. There may be officers of the land over certain laws, but the God within is the only reality.

This premise didn’t mean that i would be exempt from the consequences of paying a fine. It didn’t mean that in the external world i wouldn’t suffer some discomfort. What it did mean, was that my security came from within. In the understanding of such, i was free. No one could take away my freedom unless i let them. I didn’t care about losing my security, i didn’t care about the consequences of my actions. It was a mistake. It was not done intentionally. A special note: The right attitude to have is, the kind i pondered over when reading in the Bible the story of “David and Goliath.”  David didn’t run from the battle, he ran to it. Now like David i am courageous. Like David i am focused on my goal. I am focused on the victory being won. My tribulations and adversities of the past, have been building me up. I now stand firm on my resolve, to live my intention.

I no longer want to run from what i needed to face.  On many occasions in my life  i felt like: “Now here i am in the “Pit Hell of Goliath, i’m facing my demons head on.  I may lose my security, but i am more free today than ever! Now i know that it’s better to be free than secure.” What do you mean by that Sherie? What do you mean it’s better to be free than to be secure? What i mean is, there is nothing better than freedom. When you are free, you don’t fear consequences. When you are free, you are not fooled by appearances, and how things look and adversities. Because you know in your heart, in your soul and in your mind; that the security that you seek is within you. As long as you are secure within, no one can ever take away your security, and you will always be free! What a beautiful resolve to have when you understand. It’s not an easy road to travel when you start to think like that. You may temporarily lose a whole lot of security. You may lose your job. You may lose a mate. You may lose the comforts that you’ve known.  But if you keep your eye on the “prize,’ if you keep your mind focused on the highest of ideals, you will be free. What is your ideal?  I’m talking here about the vision of where you desire to go…..That is your security! That is your freedom! And as long as you hold that vision in your mind, it is a reality. And no one could ever take away your security. You will always be free, when you hold yourself to a higher ideal. How is that Sherie, that you will be free?

“You mean to tell me that i will be free? “I don’t have a job right now.” “I don’t know how i’m going to eat next month.” “I don’t know how i’m going to pay my rent.” “I don’t even know if i will be able to get a job.” “I don’t know if i could support myself and my children.” The place that you are looking for, that place of security, that place of freedom; is found within you.  So it’s not about bad mouthing anyone. It’s not about hurting anyone. It’s about doing what you need to do for yourself. It’s about being really, really free! That’s what true life is. It’s freedom! How much would you pay for freedom? Some say the price is too high. Some settle for something less.  But the price of freedom is worth it. Without freedom, you are a slave to circumstances. Without freedom, you are dead!  Because circumstances will always determine your forward moving action. Whenever you are enslaved, you live according to circumstances. If everything’s going well, then you are happy. If things don’t go well your not happy. And you start adjusting your life according to external circumstances. What happens then, is that you begin to soften your resolve and lose your ideal. Your ideal is your vision of where you are going. “Where There is No Vision, the People Perish.” How is it that you have a vision, and you are born with a vision and a desire to manifest the highest of your potential: But something happens to you in your life, some type of adversity, some type of financial constraint, or maybe a relationship issue or problem. And then what happens? Because you are not rooted in your internal security, you soften your resolve.

As you soften your resolve you lose your vision or give it up. Because you feel that your vision cannot be accomplished based on the circumstances or obstacles. What happens when you allow yourself to give up? You lose yourself. You lose your passion. You lose your zeal and enthusiasm for life. You lose your existence. Because you are no longer alive. You are no longer pumping with the spirit of life. The blood of life no longer flows through your veins. It becomes coagulated because you have let someone or something clot and cloud your way of thinking. Or you have let a circumstance, or adversity stop you. No matter what is going on in your life right now, i want you to understand……that you must never lose sight of your vision. Even when it looks impossible. You must never, ever , ever, give up! Your vision is your life! It’s all you have. It’s what makes you a human being. It’s what sets you apart from the animals and the insects and the creatures in nature. Because you have free will to choose for yourself, what you desire. I hope i’m making it plain? I hope i’m making it crystal clear, of how important it is to choose your freedom over your security.

When you live for your security, you live in a comfort zone. And your comfort zone constricts your growth. That comfort zone stifles out your vision. That comfort zone, spoils all of your useful habits. My mom used to always say, “Bad Associations Spoil Useful Habits.” I’m going to say that again, “Bad associations spoil useful habits.” How is that so? What do you mean? Who are you associating with? What are you thinking? Association is not only the people you hang out with, it is also the thoughts you entertain. Have you been courting the wrong mindset?  Have you associated your thinking with the wrong belief systems? That’s a whole other story, that i won’t go into now for the sake of brevity.  Your security is you. You must never put your security in the hands of circumstances, or people. We have no control over others or circumstances. The only control we have is in ourselves. So where is your security? It is in your resolve, it is in your stance, it in your firm resolutions and affirmations.

When you decide to be free you change your language. You begin to speak words like: “I will not buckle under external circumstances.” “I will not be fooled by appearances.” “I will not give up my dignity and my self respect, just to keep a job.” “I will not be disrespected by my boss.” “I will not be mistreated by my husband.” “I will not be mistreated by my wife.” “I choose to live my life abundantly.” “I choose to be free.” “I choose to be free from time clocks.” “I choose to be free to choose for myself how much i will make in my financial life.” “I choose to rely on myself and God.” “I choose to live my highest ideal and manifest my vision.” “No matter how crazy things may get, i choose my freedom.” “No matter what deprivation i may suffer, i choose to be free.” “No matter what consequences come my way, i choose my freedom.” “No matter how crazy things look when it all seems to be falling apart, i choose my freedom.” This is the mindset that will give you true freedom. Will you choose freedom over security? When you choose freedom no one can control you, or harm you.

When you choose freedom, you are alive. When you choose freedom, it doesn’t matter what is taken away from you, you know that you can always get it back and more. When you choose freedom, you understand that there are no endings, only beginnings. Let’s start now! Choose freedom today!

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I’m going to ask you for just for a moment to allow yourself to be. Let go of all of your inhibitions. Your pretensions, and your self-consciousness if you will. Let go of your fears. Take a walk with me now. Let us walk down the path of the unknown.  Leave your resistance at the door.

Is there something you want to do, but you don’t know how to do it? Who would you like to be in this moment? I’m not asking who you think you could be. But who would you like to become, that you don’t believe you can become? Is there a certain skill you need to acquire? Is there a certain education needed that you don’t have? What would it take for you to become that person? I’m not asking you what the world believes you need to become, to be that person. I’m asking you what do you need to to do to become that person?

Let me make my point here: The person you would like to become, is the person you already are. Your only requirement i say, is to “be.”  Be that person that you know you are. That person lives in the heart of your heart. Stand up i say! You don’t need to know what the journey looks like. All you have to do is be that person. Act like that person. Speak like that person. See through the eyes of that person. Taste like that person. Hear through that persons ears, touch with the hands of that person. If you do, you will find that you are that person.

You will also find that you will come alive. You will awaken to your spirit. Above all, this is who you are! You are pure consciousness known as “spirit.” It awaits the opportunity to be expressed by you. What are you waiting for? “Be!”

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You must understand that unless you are living your intentions, you are not really living.  A goal, and a task, is something you intend to accomplish. Most of us are only doing the things that we believe we can do. We go around in circles trying to skirt around what we want. We tell ourselves that we need money to accomplish our goals. Or we may tell ourselves that because of such and such, we can’t do what we set out to do.

I was talking to my friend Aiesha earlier today about why we must do what we must do.  In fact, this article is inspired by that conversation. I was telling her that a lot of things changed for me, the moment  i stepped up to be committed to getting things done. Sometimes we believe we are committed to what we are doing, but we are really not. When you are committed to something, you give yourself “No Room For Excuses.” You get it done regardless to the circumstances. So what is it that stops us from getting things done? Sometimes it’s financial reasons, time constraints, or just plain old excuses. I know for me i realized that setting deadlines, really helps you to expedite the process. It helps you to accomplish your goals.  Without a deadline you are just wishing and hoping to do something. Zig Ziglar says it like this: “You can’t hit a target that you can’t see.” I thought that that advice was pretty straight forward. But when i looked deeper into what he was saying, he was not only saying that you have to see it; he was also saying that it had to be “measurable.” That’s the component that most of us seem to miss.

Making things “measurable,” takes it to a whole other level. It puts things into bite-size pieces for us, so that we don’t feel overwhelmed.  When something is measurable you know exactly when it will be finished. You have something to reach for. In retrospect, i can say that i thought to have a “target” was enough. The way i rationalized it was that, if I’m working on it every day  it’s getting done. Wouldn’t you agree? Now i look at it differently. I know now, that putting a deadline on your goals or tasks, takes it to another notch. If you don’t put a deadline on your tasks or goals, you seem to believe you have “forever.” When you believe you have “forever,” you never push yourself to complete your tasks in a timely manner. You always leave yourself a window of opportunity to take your time. You may even procrastinate because you feel that you have “forever.”

Another point that my friend Aiesha brought up was, “obstacles.” She said that a lot of her goals were being delayed because of obstacles. I explained that the only way to overcome “obstacles,” was to make your reasons “why” stronger than your reasons “not to.” Your reasons why, are  the reasons why you want to accomplish your goals. If this reason for doing what you do is not strong enough, you will give yourself “room for excuses.” You will procrastinate and put it off. For example: My reason for writing articles consistently on this blog, are stronger than my not writing articles consistently. Why? Because my reason for doing it is that i have something to share. I’m looking to not only inspire and motivate people, I’m also looking to help transform human life. For me, i feel it is my duty, and my obligation to share what i know. When i add my “Why” up, it becomes stronger than my reason not to write my articles. When i get lazy and don’t feel like writing, i remember my “why” and i spring back into action.

You know when your “why’s” are stronger, because they will motivate you into action. If you are not clear on your “why’s,” your “not’s” will become the dominant force in your life, and whatever is dominant, will rule. So make sure you are totally clear on “why” you want to accomplish a goal. One way to make it crystal clear, is to write your “goals” down. Once written down, carry it around with you in a small notebook as a reminder. As busy as life can be, we all need a reminder. Like they say: “Out of Sight, is Out of Mind.”

Concerning obstacles, they are subjective. That’s right, they are in your mind. It is only when you accept things as an obstacle, that they will be one. When you make a decision to get something done, and you are committed, obstacles don’t exist. You have tunnel vision regarding your goal. You realize that nothing can hold you back unless you let it. You keep your goal in mind and see nothing else.  Obstacles are perceived blocks. They are not real unless you make them real.

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Here is another radio show interview that I appeared in dated November 18, 2011. I was a guest coach on Dr. Ed Moloney’s show. Dr. Moloney is the author of the book “Focus Change.” You can find out more information about him by going to his website: http://www.attractingabetterlife.com   You must search for the show in the archives by going to typing this “URL” on the address bar………. http://www.blogtalkradio.com/dr-ed-moloney  This show is about overcoming limitations.

I hope you enjoy the show, any questions or comments don’t hesitate to share…Best of everything to you Sherie Hollis


Getting to the core of your being.

Who are you really? Are you the things that you do? Or are you the things that you have? Many of us get confused when asked these questions. The only way to know for sure, is to dig our way to the truth. If we dig deep enough we can uncover, and encounter, “The Authentic Self.”

Many of us get tripped up on titles and positions. We use our titles to define our status in life. I’m a doctor, a lawyer, a nurse, an engineer, a business owner etc. The sad thing about using titles is that you limit yourself. As a result you are not able to get to the core of who you really are. It can also lead to many issues like putting a ceiling to your development, and limiting the circumference of your diameters reach. Why is this a problem? It’s a problem because if you limit yourself to a title, you can’t see yourself operating outside of the parameter that you created. Your movement becomes constricted, and you are unable to be free to continue your evolvement process. Many times we come to this life with many gifts, not just one gift. So if you are putting a title on yourself, you don’t really have the freedom to express yourself in the other areas you are blessed in. For example i consider myself to be a “Lifecoach.” But i am also a writer, a producer of transformational products, CEO of my household, and so much more.

What about the things that you have yet to become acquainted with about yourself? You have many gifts, talents and abilities that you are not even aware that you have. How will you account for them if you are limiting yourself with titles. Won’t you be doing yourself a disservice by not counting the gifts, and abilities that you are not aware of. This is why it’s good to say, “I Am All Good Things, Known and Unknown.”

The purpose in life is not to live your life by limitations. You are required to “Excavate the Authentic Self.” To excavate means to uncover or expose by digging. Why would you need to expose something unless that something is covered up? What are you uncovering? You must live your life digging through the rubbish of false ideas and concepts. Layer by layer! It is a process of unfoldment. Each aspect of you is uncovered layer by layer, but only if you are digging for the best that lives inside of you. You are divine! This is your true nature. You are infinite intelligence. A title can never define you. You are all things, unlimited in your potential. To live your life by a title, is to put yourself in a box. You are many things.

The only reason why you have not known this is because you have bought the lie that society fed you. Lies can only hold you to a limited field of potential. Each lie controls the circumference of your diameter, of your parameter. It decides how far you will go. It also decides where you will go in life. If you are divine and your divinity is unfolding to you layer by layer based on your growth; how can you be satisfied with a title. The purpose of your life is for you to become acquainted with the best part of yourself. It is also for you to become the best person you can be. Your best is not limited. It is only limited by the titles you give yourself.

You are unlimited potential! A title can’t dig you to the depths of your being where you will find the treasures of your “Authentic Self.” Nor can it show you the realm of possibilities that exist as you. When someone asks you what do you do, they are really asking you who are you? Make sure that your response will keep you in the field of discovery towards “Excavating your Authentic self.” Tell them: “I am unlimited potential! Not limited by titles. I am all things right and good. I am beyond what i do, because what i do is ever-changing. Because, “I am ever-evolving.” Therefore, “I Am that I Am.” Thank you for reading these words.